Joy, Pain, and Bodily Functions

Being a hairdresser has many rewards, but I have to say if you aren't aware of your posture while working, it can lead to many bodily aches and pains. It was this poor posture that I believe eventually led me to throwing out my back a few weeks ago. I had had a growing ache in my lower back, but this was bad. What finally threw it was just after a long run, all the pounding on the pavement was just too much pressure. Funny though, I had felt good, I didn't see it coming... Then "ouch" turned into "help me!" ... I was partially paralyzed, trembling and sweating in pain. I couldn't stand up, I couldn't sit down. I could only crawl. I missed lots of work. I hung out for three/four days with no shower, hanging on the sofa in my t-shirt and underwear. I couldn't even pee by myself. Martyn had to lift and lower me onto the toilet by my underarms. Heh, funny story involved actually...

Sitting down onto the toilet was painful enough due to the fact that the center of my pain was in my sacrum area, but laughing was the worst. Thank god I didn't sneeze or cough because that would have been torture. I had been holding my pee for hours avoiding the peeing process and couldn't hold it anymore, so Martyn begins to drag me to the bathroom, once there, I assume position and cling to the sink as he poises himself to lower me by my armpits onto the toilet (... what a guy...). As he is lowering me down he begins to fart. Like, machine gun fart. There I am, lowering in pain, laughing in pain; lower - pain, laugh - pain, lower - pain, laugh - pain, a combination so confusing it's enough to make you cry. But no, I didn't cry (much). I wet myself right there. Just let it go. My only choice really, I came there to pee, and pee I did. The following dealings with wet knickers and being "stuck" on the toilet is whole 'nother event, use your imagination...